3 Positive Things Part 7

[Daniel E.]

Poultry-based gratitude:

1. So glad I was given three young Silkie/mini chickens a few months ago (from someone who was moving away). They are my favorite breed now. They are cute both in appearance and behavior. And they started laying eggs last week for the first time.

2. Got exercise finding a missing chicken this morning. She found a new hiding spot to lay an egg.

3. Still super convenient to buy chicken feed from Walmart grocery pickup.

 

[gooblax]

1. Finally got the courage to send an email with a bunch of questions that were delaying my ability to complete a task at work.
2. It was a reminder about one of my first scary "having to ask for clarification on a task" experiences when I was 12 years old, and I didn't know how to articulate my questions properly and made a mess of asking for clarification, because I was missing a collection of small details (like where on the folder do you want the name written - top, middle, bottom, side, vertically or horizontally?). It might have taken me awhile to ask the questions this time and I got to write them out instead of saying them, but I was clear about what info I needed and got the answers.
3. Had a good time playing a Nintendo game tonight.

 

[gooblax]

1. Stood up for myself when my therapist was trying to "be a bit provocative" by being black and white about me just focusing on negative things. Apparently his intent in doing so was to get me to disagree with him so that I would provide more information. I told him to ask next time instead. Bonus that I was annoyed with what he was doing, rather than getting angry with myself about what he must think of me to have made that assumption... which turned out not to even be an assumption, apparently.
2. It was a good thing that I'd planned on allowing him a free choice topic today, because he certainly used it through the first half of the session without even knowing what I'd planned.
3. Instead of self harming below the camera line so that my therapist couldn't see what I was doing during the session, I told him that my thoughts were about doing that and he helped me take a step back from it and calm down.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Well done, gooblax! More confirmation of the progress you've made.

 

[gooblax]

Thanks. Number 1 does seem like progress, because I know how upset I would normally have become about that sort of thing.

Number 3 doesn't. I'm not sure if the only reason I told him was because I realised that the object I was trying to use wasn't going to be effective without making an obvious movement. Because I certainly started trying a bit to use it before having that realisation. It didn't even occur to me that last session he'd reminded me that he wanted me to tell him if I'm feeling bad while we're talking about something. Between not being able to use the object the way I wanted and not being able to say the thing I was trying to say due to getting too emotional, I ended up having to say that was the reason I couldn't say it. Then I mentioned the self harm thing mostly because I thought if I didn't I'd be more likely to remain stuck with the urge to do it, and it would have been hard to wrap up the conversation with him while I was stuck thinking about that.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I consider that progress.

You don't have to be perfect to be making progress.

 

[gooblax]

1. Didn't get hit by the car coming out of the blind driveway this morning. He hit the brakes and I swerved onto the grass. I hate that driveway cause there's a tall fence and an automatic gate recessed in, and it's impossible to see if there's a car until you're right in front of it.
2. Aside from that it was a good ride to work and although my other knee has started being sore it doesn't have any problems while riding.
3. I tried to give advice to my parents about their conflict with my brother when my mum started complaining about it to me again, although it definitely was not a skilled conversation on my part. At least I tried rather than not saying anything.

 

[Daniel E.]

1. Felt like a kid again yesterday when playing basketball with my husband and friends.

2. No vet bills in a while.

3. Got free samples again from Walmart grocery pickup.

 

[gooblax]

1. I made choc chip cookies yesterday.
2. Didn't get splattered with mud yesterday afternoon riding home because it didn't rain during the day, despite the forecast. Hopefully today is similar.
3. I've booked leave from work tomorrow for a life admin day but haven't decided what admin I'm going to do. Probably exchange some pants, buy new shoes, and write up therapy notes. I was wanting to get some paints for model making but it would've been easier to order online and pick up but I wasn't organised enough to do that.

 

[gooblax]

1. Even though my day off yesterday ended up not being a very good day and I didn't accomplish the things I wanted to, I'm trying to recognise the things I did get done.
2. Someone has trimmed most of the trees that were sticking out onto the road and making it difficult to cycle there (although they didn't sweep the gravel so it's still not great). And they left the supple twig that always smacks me in the face just so I wouldn't get too disrupted by the change - wasn't that thoughtful?
3. Trying not to let my mood suck me in to thoughts about quitting therapy, or about how useless I am, or about how I suck at everything and need to be a completely different person.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

You're doing well and making progress, gooblax. Keep reminding yourself of that.

And maybe take a pocket knife or something to cut off that branch that keeps smacking you in the face. I mean, that's just rude.

 

[gooblax]

You're doing well and making progress, gooblax. Keep reminding yourself of that.

Thanks. I got sucked into thinking about how sad it'll be saying goodbye to my psych and then crying about it at 3am which is always a load of fun :/ I dunno why I make it so hard. It doesn't seem right to be feeling safer about talking to him or opening up more. I can tell that there's some progress but at the same time I kind of feel like chucking it away because it's still going to go bad at some point. I don't even really know what I want to work on in therapy anymore, even though I usually have things I could talk about.

And maybe take a pocket knife or something to cut off that branch that keeps smacking you in the face. I mean, that's just rude.

I bought some plant clippers a few months ago but will have to make a weekend trip to cut the branch. It's a main road that's too busy during the week. But it's definitely been on the to-do list cause I'm sick of getting so personal with the branch. I was able to avoid it yesterday because there wasn't a car behind me, so that's always a win.

Positives for today:

1. Survived the routine termite inspection, since I was nervous about the guy coming and all that stuff. Made some small talk about playing guitar/piano.
2. Had my apartment tidy enough for him to come in without it being disgusting.
3. Played some Nintendo while I was waiting for him to arrive and I'll play some more before I tackle going to the grocery store.

 

[Daniel E.]

1. Though my dog's groomer has retired for now, she gave us great advice (like using a #7 clipper attachment for our long-haired dachshund). My husband has previous experience grooming dogs (from many years ago), and he did a great job clipping the dog today.

2. Saved $50 on the pet clippers by getting them on sale at Petco.

3. Got winter socks on clearance at Target. (They had mostly summer socks on clearance but some fall/winter too.)

 

[gooblax]

1. The student I was mentoring has officially pulled out of the mentoring program so I don't need to think about that anymore. I replied this morning so all done.
2. I wasn't very nervous going to inspect an apartment on Saturday because my mum wanted me to. I used to get so stressed out and anxious, so it's a really big indication about how some social anxiety scenarios aren't so bad for me anymore.
3. Going to mindfully eat a mandarin to try and get over my work-related anxiety this morning.

 

[Daniel E.]

BONUS: With my husband and his visiting daughter, drove through Sedona this evening to see the sunset on the rocks.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

1. The student I was mentoring has officially pulled out of the mentoring program so I don't need to think about that anymore. I replied this morning so all done.
2. I wasn't very nervous going to inspect an apartment on Saturday because my mum wanted me to. I used to get so stressed out and anxious, so it's a really big indication about how some social anxiety scenarios aren't so bad for me anymore.
3. Going to mindfully eat a mandarin to try and get over my work-related anxiety this morning.

Excellent, gooblax!

More evidence of progress in therapy.

But why did your mother want you to view the apartment? Are you thinking of moving?

 

[gooblax]

Excellent, gooblax!

More evidence of progress in therapy.

Thanks It was a bit of a surprise but I'll certainly take it while it happens.

But why did your mother want you to view the apartment? Are you thinking of moving?

She wants me to buy a 2nd apartment and rent it out as a second source of income. She sends me lots of suggestions to go look at, but I almost always ignore them (I've maybe been to 2 out of like 50 suggestions over the years since getting my current place). The only reasons I went to this one are because I used to live in a different unit in that building and was curious, and not being sure if my mum was thinking about buying it herself, or recommending it to my brother so I figured I'd go just in case they needed info... But nope, it was just about me buying it so nah.

 

[gooblax]

1. I bought a new water bottle yesterday for work. I was having trouble keeping the mould off the o-rings on the other one and pretty sure it's what was giving me a minor cough.
2. Had hardly any anxiety when shopping for shoes yesterday?!?!?!?!!!!!! What is this madness?! It used to be incredibly anxiety provoking to where I couldn't even evaluate what I was looking at. Whereas yesterday I was evaluating all over the place. The only places I had problems were when it was too busy, expecially the one where I was in the men's shoe section, surrounded by guys who were all competing for space to try and look at shoes. I quickly abandoned that store because that wasn't going to work out. But at the quiet stores it was fine.
3. Although I didn't get black joggers for cycling to work and then wearing at work because I'm lazy and don't want to swap shoes (and my current joggers are grey, dirty, and have developed a squeak due to the base coming apart), I got a $48 pair of skate shoes that will hopefully do the job - trying them today and so far ok but I haven't checked if they squeak on the kitchenette floor.

 

[Daniel E.]

BONUS: Next door neighbors took us out for dinner last night.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

1. I bought a new water bottle yesterday for work. I was having trouble keeping the mould off the o-rings on the other one and pretty sure it's what was giving me a minor cough.
2. Had hardly any anxiety when shopping for shoes yesterday?!?!?!?!!!!!! What is this madness?! It used to be incredibly anxiety provoking to where I couldn't even evaluate what I was looking at. Whereas yesterday I was evaluating all over the place. The only places I had problems were when it was too busy, expecially the one where I was in the men's shoe section, surrounded by guys who were all competing for space to try and look at shoes. I quickly abandoned that store because that wasn't going to work out. But at the quiet stores it was fine.
3. Although I didn't get black joggers for cycling to work and then wearing at work because I'm lazy and don't want to swap shoes (and my current joggers are grey, dirty, and have developed a squeak due to the base coming apart), I got a $48 pair of skate shoes that will hopefully do the job - trying them today and so far ok but I haven't checked if they squeak on the kitchenette floor.

More evidence of progress, gooblax.

Well done. I'm proud of you and you should remember to be proud of yourself!