3 Positive Things Part 5
You do realize that David has been sick for almost a decade, and that he and I had to be off work for a long time, right? We pretty messed up, or were. It’s taking time, but we are moving forward. I don’t see an issue as, although I’ve felt anxiety about how slowly things are going, I’VE had to make big changes, too.
HE is doing more than his share of housework.
I am also, as required, being less *in control* and since my psychiatrist said to stop taking the ADHD meds that were effing me up and making things even worse for me, I’ve found it much easier not to micromanage my husband, and give him more autonomy and not try to do everything for him like I have the last several years because of his many health issues.
We ARE seeing a financial specialist after doing a bunch of homework for her.
He HAS called and we are waiting for him to get the call to come to rehab. He needs a really experienced physiotherapist, so unfortunately we have to wait. We have both gone to the Pain Clinic (David twice, now) to help manage our back pain with Cortisol shots
I’m not sure why you think we’re doing the same thing over and over. I think we’re doing a helluva lot better then when I first got off work. There are still some uncertainties we have to work on. But to say we’re stuck and not making progress isn’t correct.
Yes. Lots of ****. lol Believe me, I AM thinking **** may still happen. Maybe we would’ve been more prepared if David didn’t get sick so often. Maybe if we didn’t feel like our second home was the hospital. Maybe if either of us had any family in our province. But nope, just me and David. Maybe if I could handle my husband being in the hospital and I didn’t have anxiety and depression we’d be more prepared because I would’ve had 30% more pay. Unfortunately, I couldn’t handle being at work at the same time. And that’s probably a good thing because I had to contact the Patient Advocate on two occasions. Both because of doctors.
My husband has had more than three hospital stays alone for intestinal bleeding. I came home to find him semi-conscious because he passed out on the floor in the bathroom in a pool of his own blood. I’ve had to catch him while at the hospital when he was on the toilet because he lost so much blood he passed out. He had at least two blood transfusions. They also gave him iron.
Another time, the doctor on call received a phone call, telling him about my David, the night before his vacation, and the doctor conveniently forgot to write it down or call anyone else. So my sweet husband had to wait and wait and finally I had a nervous breakdown and the charge nurse saw me in her office. I explained that we don’t have any family in our province. We couldn’t figure out who the hell the doctor was that was supposed to be looking after David. How can my husband be suffering in a hospital bed, on morphine, on antibiotics, on a liquid diet (again), for FIVE DAYS and not hear from a doctor?!?
The nurses tracked down our stupid doctor and had to threaten him that they’d call the college of physicians and report him. He finally comes to see David, claiming he was doing so on his vacation. He was trying to take over like he knew what the hell he was doing, but he didn’t even know David has to swallow one of those giant pills with the little camera in it and it took pictures of his intestines from the inside.
The reason we found out that the doctor had forgotten/not bothered to refer David to another doctor was because we filed an official complaint and demanded to know what the hell happened.
My husband has had to have care because his herniated disc in his neck ruptured. He was in agony for 3 months before the surgery and then had the operation and then I had to help him for the next three months. He was on morphine.
Ah, yes, then there was the cancer in 2014. Stage 4. What an effing treat that was. They had to remove his breast, some pectoral muscle, and 9 lymph nodes.
He had to get opened up again from the original surgery because he had a blood clot. Then he had to have some time to heal.
He had both radiation and chemo. Chemo was hell for him. He’d be fine for a couple of days, then he’d be up for 12 hours in the night puking and retching. The doctor increased his anti-nausea meds a few times. I would run myself ragged trying to look after him.
During lovely chemo and radiation he had to be hospitalized twice. Once because his white blood cell count dropped pretty much to nuthin. The other time was because his intestines became infected.
Then he was hospitalized after he was in remission because of his damned intestines again.
It’s especially fun for your loved one to be in a bed out in the ER hallway because it’s flu season and every fricking room is packed. Imagine walking in to see your loved one and his bedding is bloody and has vomit on it because someone forgot to provide Gravol after administering Morphine. And no clean bedsheets to be had because flu season is the busiest and even staff were sick or on vacation.
I think David’s doctors finally DUH figured out they needed to do a bowel resection. So first he comes to the ER about a month earlier than his doctor had scheduled him for surgery. His doctor is on Christmas vacation. Another doctor is attending for him. This jackass of a doctor tries to send David home after his symptoms WORSENED. I got the patient advocate involved.
David was sent to the other hospital to get an ultrasound or some type of scan and that’s when they realized, oh, gee, looks like his infection is pressing against his bladder, and oh would ya look at that... There’s an effing hole in his bladder. And the stupid ass doctor was trying to send him HOME like that!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Finally the attending doctor operates. Then I need to support David because he can’t just stay inert in bed. He has to get up and walk around so he heals properly. Sometimes he wanted to get up and there didn’t seem to be a nurse in sight. So when I helped him to get out of bed, I pulled a muscle.
The day he was supposed to leave, they couldn’t remove his drain. They kept pulling it and pulling it. At one point they decided to take him down so they could scan while they were trying to pull it out. He had this type of thing where the string/wire looped around and either every doctor in the hospital didn’t realize how it released or it was just stuck or something. So then they had to send him back to the other hospital again and the person did something or snipped something and the damn thing finally came out.
Anyway, I’m too tired to keep on bitching. I’m just giving you a small taste of the hell we had to go through. Plus there was one time David had been on 7ml of morphine a day and the doctor did NOT provide him with anything to wean himself off the morphine... So then David had some wicked withdrawal symptoms.
Oh, and our very sick dogs. We had two beautiful rescue dogs that died horrible deaths because God knows what was wrong with them when we got them. Both of those dogs we probably spent thousands of dollars on before finally having to make the awful choice of putting them to sleep. Watching your dog wither until he has to crawl around to eat and drink... Or your little Frenchie having seizures and being so confused and out of it that she can’t stop pacing and pacing and bashing into things because she’s blind so you have to put her in a pen where she goes around and around and around until she passes out from exhaustion. She was on barbiturates & fentenol. She would howl with misery. It broke our hearts.
On with this, shall we?
Yes. Thanks. We kinda figured that out a bit late. But we figured it out and tried to do something ourselves. It didn’t work so we got a financial advisor. We see her tomorrow.
Yes. Thanks, I know. In apologize for my generalized anxiety disorder. I’m in the middle of looking for a new psychologist. I am being coached by an ADHD counselor. I make roughly $3460 a month. David makes about $320. He needs to become self sufficient. In lieu of this, until he is able to do so, his mom is helping. David is aware that he needs to reapply for CPP Disability and possibly for mental health issues or a combination of mental and physical health issues.
Did I mention he has a new herniated disc in his lower back? He’s had 2 laminectomies before he met me. He’s had his spleen out. He’s had an abusive drunk for a dad.
Despite all the crazy **** he’s been through, I give him credit at how well he does through all his chronic back pain.
Yes. Thanks. I’m aware of that. Not sure what you want ME to do. I’ve supported my husband through hell and back. I am STILL doing the best I can. But I’ve done all I can. He knows he either has to get more work or apply for financial support.
Yes!!! And wonderfully it’s all on MY credit. And the car is under HIS name so it’s exempt. He says he is committed to working on this with me.
I appreciate you offering advice, but if you read back on some of my more recent threads you’ll see I’ve explained what we’re doing, and we’re doing it as best we can. I can’t force someone with mental health issues to do something more quickly.
As mentioned, we are doing loads of things. I’m surprised we’ve gotten as far as we have...
Now I’m going to take some clonazapam and go to bed. lol For some reason I’m a bit worked up! lol
See y’all later... If I don’t throw myself into traffic or crash my car or something...
Sent from my Hollycopter using SlappaSquawk
You do realize that David has been sick for almost a decade, and that he and I had to be off work for a long time, right? We pretty messed up, or were. It’s taking time, but we are moving forward. I don’t see an issue as, although I’ve felt anxiety about how slowly things are going, I’VE had to make big changes, too.
HE is doing more than his share of housework.
I am also, as required, being less *in control* and since my psychiatrist said to stop taking the ADHD meds that were effing me up and making things even worse for me, I’ve found it much easier not to micromanage my husband, and give him more autonomy and not try to do everything for him like I have the last several years because of his many health issues.
We ARE seeing a financial specialist after doing a bunch of homework for her.
He HAS called and we are waiting for him to get the call to come to rehab. He needs a really experienced physiotherapist, so unfortunately we have to wait. We have both gone to the Pain Clinic (David twice, now) to help manage our back pain with Cortisol shots
I’m not sure why you think we’re doing the same thing over and over. I think we’re doing a helluva lot better then when I first got off work. There are still some uncertainties we have to work on. But to say we’re stuck and not making progress isn’t correct.
Yes. Lots of ****. lol Believe me, I AM thinking **** may still happen. Maybe we would’ve been more prepared if David didn’t get sick so often. Maybe if we didn’t feel like our second home was the hospital. Maybe if either of us had any family in our province. But nope, just me and David. Maybe if I could handle my husband being in the hospital and I didn’t have anxiety and depression we’d be more prepared because I would’ve had 30% more pay. Unfortunately, I couldn’t handle being at work at the same time. And that’s probably a good thing because I had to contact the Patient Advocate on two occasions. Both because of doctors.
My husband has had more than three hospital stays alone for intestinal bleeding. I came home to find him semi-conscious because he passed out on the floor in the bathroom in a pool of his own blood. I’ve had to catch him while at the hospital when he was on the toilet because he lost so much blood he passed out. He had at least two blood transfusions. They also gave him iron.
Another time, the doctor on call received a phone call, telling him about my David, the night before his vacation, and the doctor conveniently forgot to write it down or call anyone else. So my sweet husband had to wait and wait and finally I had a nervous breakdown and the charge nurse saw me in her office. I explained that we don’t have any family in our province. We couldn’t figure out who the hell the doctor was that was supposed to be looking after David. How can my husband be suffering in a hospital bed, on morphine, on antibiotics, on a liquid diet (again), for FIVE DAYS and not hear from a doctor?!?
The nurses tracked down our stupid doctor and had to threaten him that they’d call the college of physicians and report him. He finally comes to see David, claiming he was doing so on his vacation. He was trying to take over like he knew what the hell he was doing, but he didn’t even know David has to swallow one of those giant pills with the little camera in it and it took pictures of his intestines from the inside.
The reason we found out that the doctor had forgotten/not bothered to refer David to another doctor was because we filed an official complaint and demanded to know what the hell happened.
My husband has had to have care because his herniated disc in his neck ruptured. He was in agony for 3 months before the surgery and then had the operation and then I had to help him for the next three months. He was on morphine.
Ah, yes, then there was the cancer in 2014. Stage 4. What an effing treat that was. They had to remove his breast, some pectoral muscle, and 9 lymph nodes.
He had to get opened up again from the original surgery because he had a blood clot. Then he had to have some time to heal.
He had both radiation and chemo. Chemo was hell for him. He’d be fine for a couple of days, then he’d be up for 12 hours in the night puking and retching. The doctor increased his anti-nausea meds a few times. I would run myself ragged trying to look after him.
During lovely chemo and radiation he had to be hospitalized twice. Once because his white blood cell count dropped pretty much to nuthin. The other time was because his intestines became infected.
Then he was hospitalized after he was in remission because of his damned intestines again.
It’s especially fun for your loved one to be in a bed out in the ER hallway because it’s flu season and every fricking room is packed. Imagine walking in to see your loved one and his bedding is bloody and has vomit on it because someone forgot to provide Gravol after administering Morphine. And no clean bedsheets to be had because flu season is the busiest and even staff were sick or on vacation.
I think David’s doctors finally DUH figured out they needed to do a bowel resection. So first he comes to the ER about a month earlier than his doctor had scheduled him for surgery. His doctor is on Christmas vacation. Another doctor is attending for him. This jackass of a doctor tries to send David home after his symptoms WORSENED. I got the patient advocate involved.
David was sent to the other hospital to get an ultrasound or some type of scan and that’s when they realized, oh, gee, looks like his infection is pressing against his bladder, and oh would ya look at that... There’s an effing hole in his bladder. And the stupid ass doctor was trying to send him HOME like that!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Finally the attending doctor operates. Then I need to support David because he can’t just stay inert in bed. He has to get up and walk around so he heals properly. Sometimes he wanted to get up and there didn’t seem to be a nurse in sight. So when I helped him to get out of bed, I pulled a muscle.
The day he was supposed to leave, they couldn’t remove his drain. They kept pulling it and pulling it. At one point they decided to take him down so they could scan while they were trying to pull it out. He had this type of thing where the string/wire looped around and either every doctor in the hospital didn’t realize how it released or it was just stuck or something. So then they had to send him back to the other hospital again and the person did something or snipped something and the damn thing finally came out.
Anyway, I’m too tired to keep on bitching. I’m just giving you a small taste of the hell we had to go through. Plus there was one time David had been on 7ml of morphine a day and the doctor did NOT provide him with anything to wean himself off the morphine... So then David had some wicked withdrawal symptoms.
Oh, and our very sick dogs. We had two beautiful rescue dogs that died horrible deaths because God knows what was wrong with them when we got them. Both of those dogs we probably spent thousands of dollars on before finally having to make the awful choice of putting them to sleep. Watching your dog wither until he has to crawl around to eat and drink... Or your little Frenchie having seizures and being so confused and out of it that she can’t stop pacing and pacing and bashing into things because she’s blind so you have to put her in a pen where she goes around and around and around until she passes out from exhaustion. She was on barbiturates & fentenol. She would howl with misery. It broke our hearts.
On with this, shall we?
Yes. Thanks. We kinda figured that out a bit late. But we figured it out and tried to do something ourselves. It didn’t work so we got a financial advisor. We see her tomorrow.
You don’t have to tell ME this. I do NOT like taking money from her. He’d her only son, and she’s in Florida. He told her he’s lost a couple of students (true), and she wants to help. Am I going to try to stop her??? I don’t talk to my lunatic of a mother so what can I do? We tried a Go Fund Me account. We used up our Aeromiles buying Drugstore Giftcards to help pay for our prescriptions. We cut out coupons and bought what we could as inexpensively as we could. And I told you David isn’t well. He’s really trying his best, I can tell.
Yes. Thanks, I know. In apologize for my generalized anxiety disorder. I’m in the middle of looking for a new psychologist. I am being coached by an ADHD counselor. I make roughly $3460 a month. David makes about $320. He needs to become self sufficient. In lieu of this, until he is able to do so, his mom is helping. David is aware that he needs to reapply for CPP Disability and possibly for mental health issues or a combination of mental and physical health issues.
Did I mention he has a new herniated disc in his lower back? He’s had 2 laminectomies before he met me. He’s had his spleen out. He’s had an abusive drunk for a dad.
Despite all the crazy **** he’s been through, I give him credit at how well he does through all his chronic back pain.
Yes. Thanks. I’m aware of that. Not sure what you want ME to do. I’ve supported my husband through hell and back. I am STILL doing the best I can. But I’ve done all I can. He knows he either has to get more work or apply for financial support.
Well hence Social Assistance for mentally unhealthy people or CPP. David is fully aware he will need a psychiatrist’s backup with this so he can’t NOT see one.
Yes!!! And wonderfully it’s all on MY credit. And the car is under HIS name so it’s exempt. He says he is committed to working on this with me.
I appreciate you offering advice, but if you read back on some of my more recent threads you’ll see I’ve explained what we’re doing, and we’re doing it as best we can. I can’t force someone with mental health issues to do something more quickly.
As mentioned, we are doing loads of things. I’m surprised we’ve gotten as far as we have...
Now I’m going to take some clonazapam and go to bed. lol For some reason I’m a bit worked up! lol
See y’all later... If I don’t throw myself into traffic or crash my car or something...
Sent from my Hollycopter using SlappaSquawk
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I am similarly stuck but that's only because the automotive department was out of Vegemite.
