3 Positive Things Part 7

[David Baxter PhD]

Did it have a handbag?

 

[gooblax]

No, although it's a bit hard to carry a handbag when you're stealing a bike.

 

[gooblax]

1. Made a list of groceries to get and decided that I'm making lasagna (before the weather gets too hot for wanting to have the oven on for that long).
2. I realised that the talkative neighbour was downstairs so re-timed my trip to the store and am eating breakfast first. Also means that the laundry is now hung up to dry so I won't have to do it when I get back.
3. The eardrops that I bought a couple of weeks ago do seem to help. I may just have to put up with 2 nights of bad sleep due to the discomfort, and repeat it every 2 weeks or so during the warmer weather to keep on top of it. At least this way I won't be trying to use expired drops because I'll be going through it quickly.

 

[Daniel E.]

BONUS: Grateful for my two humidifiers. (Fall has started since the humidity is very low now with the cooler air and zero rain -- only 6 percent humidity today.)

 

[gooblax]

1. Didn't listen much to self destructive thoughts today, despite the temptation.
2. Followed along with a beginners yoga YouTube video.
3. Bought some eggs since I discovered that the two I had left needed to be thrown out.

 

[Daniel E.]

1. Made a wrong turn and ended up at PetSmart, which had dog toys on clearance.

2. With the cooling in weather, enjoying hot coffee more at home.

3. Chiropractor (who is from Canada) is still nice and gave me a mug for a leaving a positive review (which they aren't supposed to do, but I don't want to be rude, haha).

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Nothing wrong with giving a gift of appreciation after a review, as long as they didn't give you a gift to bribe you into leaving a review.

 

[gooblax]

1. Just swapped the air con from "heat" to "cool" and it's already feeling better. Dunno why one of the new bosses wants everyone to be sweating.
2. I'm leaving work early this afternoon because its Friday and I have a parcel to pick up.
3. I will NOT be taking my bike with me to the post office. Might pick up some dinner on the way home.

 

[gooblax]

Bonus: Despite my mood taking a nosedive due to getting my report feedback:
(a) I still got my parcel (didn't listen to the demotivating thoughts about how I screwed up with the one that got returned);
(b) I had leftover lasagna for dinner (so it didn't matter that I got too nervous to buy fish and chips); and
(c) I'm trying to make sense of why I'm feeling so bad about my report rather than doing some self harm even though I probably deserve it.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Nobody deserves self-harm, especially not because of some criticism of your work.

What was in the feedback that upsets you? and why did it upset you? Are you beating yourself up for not being perfect again?

 

[Daniel E.]

Souless corporate feedback:

https://youtu.be/jsLUidiYm0w

 

[Daniel E.]

Some of the Youtube comments:

One of the funniest movies about corp life I've ever seen. (1) They don't listen. (2) They don't care. (3) The most minor thing is the most important thing in the universe. (4) Actual work does not matter. (5) Honest hard working people are shafted. (6) The undeserving are promoted. ALL TRUE!

The people who are reliable and take care of things get most of the crap.

 

[gooblax]

The comments were OK (which is why I was confused about why I'd be upset). But to address 2 of them, I have to do another test which needs to involve a bunch of other people and probably another work trip. If I could just get the part sent here and do it all myself then it would be fine, but I can't because of procedure stuff and available tools (although the tools could be worked around if they partially disassembled the part before sending it). I can't even go by myself on the work trip because I can't drive.
And I guess that is upsetting because I'll have to bother other people with extra work and be a pain in the ass and make them annoyed with me.

 

[Daniel E.]

In the Southern US, we would say you get to bless them with your presence

Besides, a lot of millineials do not have cars, which is why AAA now has to advertise non-car services. And today I saw two autonomous vehicles in Phoenix. I hate driving in Phoenix traffic, so I was jealous

 

[Daniel E.]

One of my favorite mantras when I am stuck with negative or self-downing thinking is "The situation is hopeless but not serious." It is the seriousness/anxiety that makes things worse. And of course things are rarely hopeless, but it is a validating phrase.

 

[gooblax]

And today I saw two autonomous vehicles in Phoenix.

They've been my plan to deal with driving anxiety since highschool. Taking far longer than I'd thought to sort out the regulations and come to market.
:sigh:

One of my favorite mantras when I am stuck with negative or self-downing thinking is "The situation is hopeless but not serious." It is the seriousness/anxiety that makes things worse. And of course things are rarely hopeless, but it is a validating phrase.

I guess. It's extra annoying because I asked my boss to begin his review at that part of the report, so that he could tell me if he thought we needed to do the extra test. I figured that should take about 2 weeks for him to tell me. Instead this was the last thing he'd looked at before passing the report back to me after 5 weeks and he didn't even verbally say anything about that part. So now there's a tighter time pressure on it, probably because he forgot. And since he hadn't mentioned it at all during the past 5 weeks I'd hoped that he'd decided we didn't need it. It's been hard to have an actual conversation with him not being in the office much and me not wanting to call him, so I never got up the nerve to ask about it.

Positives for today:
1) So far I haven't done any extra mood-spiraling activities.
2) Mum bought me an early Xmas present (which was what I was picking up yesterday) and included some extra Nanoblocks faux-Lego things that she said I could open and build now (since I'd already told her I wouldn't open the Xmas present, she was specific about telling me to open the other things). I built one this morning when everything was feeling pointless and I couldn't even decide whether to eat breakfast or do laundry or make banana bread with the brown bananas or play guitar or sit on the floor and try to stop breathing altogether. It definitely helped.
3) Attempted to make banana cookies again. Still not as good as that one commercially produced one that I had years ago, but these were at least the most cookie-like that I've made so far. Kind of like flat banana muffins with a slightly crisp base.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Those banana cookies sound yummy. I found the key to cookies was baking soda. Add some of that to the recipe and they rise to make plumper cookies.

As for automated vehicles, what I've been waiting for are anonymous vehicles. That way I could drive around like Jason Bourne or Bruce Willis or Bowser from Mario Kart just going where I want and crashing other cars out of my way and no one would know it was me.

 

[Daniel E.]

Banana cookies...where have you been my whole life???

But for a different, earthly flavor, only use imported Canadian bananas

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I don't think bananas grow in Canada. That's why people go to Florida.

 

[Daniel E.]

With the climate change though, you can start growing coffee beans too...Baxter's Beans